As anyone brave enough to teach middle school can tell you, it’s not for the faint of heart. It’s that special time in students’ lives when their hormones, emotions, and odors run at an all-time high. That said, the classes often provide some incredibly entertaining stories. From unusual gifts (can of beans, anyone?) to constantly slapping the top of doorframes, there’s just something about that tween and teenage mindset that makes a sense of humor essential for these teachers. We can’t stop laughing at the doozies teachers on Reddit have shared about their students!
They bring you canned beans
“I’m primarily a band teacher, but I have one period of 7th grade English. One of my students asked me the other day who my favorite superhero was and added, ‘If you get it wrong, I’m bringing you beans.’ I thought to myself, ‘whatever that means,’ and told him Spider-Man was my favorite. He said I was wrong and that he was bringing me beans. The next day he brought me a can of beans. Pinto. It now sits on my desk. I love this kid.” —binermoots
They try to toss their friends in the trash
“Me: ‘Pick up the trash and throw it away.’ Student: picks up his friend and starts carrying him to the garbage can.” —Rucas21
They point out the totally normal things teachers aren’t allowed to have
“Me: (slightly slides shoe off before class to adjust an unruly sock)
Girl in the front row: Ew.
Me: ‘Ew’ because you’re surprised I have feet, or ‘ew’ because you think my feet smell?
Girl in the front row, nodding her head vigorously: Yes. Both.
Me, an expert at turning things into a teachable moment: Let’s examine the evidence for your claim …
Best 45 minutes of class I’ve ever had.” —beentherealmostdid
They know what’s truly important in life
“Since we cannot post pictures here, I’ll re-create it with text.
Worksheet: Name an important event in your life.
Student: When I had no ice cream left and I wanted ice cream.
Worksheet: Why is that important to you and how is it significant?
Student: This is important to me because I love ice cream.” —mattj255
They keep you on your toes
Today we had a fight in the hallway, I was berated by a student about menstruation, I had to ask a kid twice to take his paintball mask off, and I had to ask a kid to close their umbrella. from Teachers
“Today, we had a fight in the hallway, I was berated by a student about menstruation, I had to ask a kid twice to take his paintball mask off, and I had to ask a kid to close their umbrella.
Ahhhh, the joys of teaching middle school.” —QuixoticSensei
They stick to their comfort zones
“I got an easy one. There was about 3 minutes left in the period, so I let them quietly socialize and move around. Took about 30 seconds for the boys to be huddled in one corner and the girls in the other.” —El_UniBeard
The replies to this thread offer a few more gems:
They have to slap every doorframe
“My boys have an incessant need to touch the top of every doorframe they pass through.” —Rucas21
They steal all your pencils
“Broken pencils on the floor. Pencils on my wall. Pencils kidnapped.” —jenhai
They always forget at least one thing (or everything)
“Can I run back to my locker real quick? I forgot my pencil, my homework, my notebook, my book, and my folder.” —emoboar11
They require some sneaky page-turning instructions
“Whenever we have to turn to page 69 (which is unfortunately a lot, because there’s a map on that page we use) I always tell them to turn to page 70 and then, oops actually go back a page.” —itslooseseal